| A Long Random Post. Actually I am not sure why I bother to blog here anyway. When most of my private thoughts are away in my ‘Private” blog and the readership of this blog consist of at most 3 reader: Myself, Berry and perhaps a moth. Over the weekend, I had learnt that the higher the expectation of something, the higher the chances of getting real disappointed if it is not achieved. When your world clearly revolves around a particular person, naturally you hope that you are always the priority in his/her heart. Ok, to be fair, not always the first as for some the first priority are their parents, but the second and third sounds reasonable right? Like if you promised the whole of a day to that someone like from the start of the week, you don't come at 4pm in the day, looking so tired and worn out like you haven slept for ten thousand years. Instead, you could have went home early the night before, have a good rest, knowing that you had promised the next day to someone important (I Hope). I know I’m sounding like a sick old lady now whose children had not been around to see her for ten years and her other half has long gone to heaven. But I fucking don't give a damn. ‘Everyone is expecting something from me.’ Yes, noted, loud and clear. I understand everyone is constantly stressed out by expectation from your boss, parents, gf, bf, friends, your pets blah blah blah. But instead of stressing yourself out, have you ever sat down and thought about it, does that ‘everyone’ worthy of you to fulfill their expectation? I doubt so. Nevertheless, this will continue to be a cycle over and over till…I learn how to transform myself to look like those in the priority queue. Maybe I am a person that needs attention, loads of attention from my parents, my bf, my poor gfs and even my relatives. That’s why I whine so much, I think I am the Champion of Whiner, I can totally whine about anything. The weather (so hot, cold, windy), food (hate spring onions, dryness of chicken, chicken breast meat), clothes (too big), my boney shoulders, hungry-ness, pimples, stupid people on the train… so on and on. I think w/o sufficient attention I will wilt and die off like a flower with not enough water. People that I am not close to, feel that I am damn irritating, spoilt brat la, pampered la…but heck it…you are just jealous that you have no one to whine to or you are those ‘cool’ type, where whining is considered too lady to you. Then don’t be my friend. Whatever, I am rambling on now…so my under note is… I hate people who ‘fu yan’ me. Show me genuine ‘attention’ if you promise, not half heartedly or ¾ heartedly. I hate it when someone calls and cannot do anything to help in my situation. Just don’t call and give me hope. Pissed off. I am so not looking forward to anything. Its my longest ever random post, w/o pictures. |
